Cardiac Ward - Room 232

Needless to say, it was a huge relief when my hubby was moved from the ICU to a regular room in the cardiac ward since it is a sign that he is out of danger. But I was unhappy when I discovered that he will be sharing a room with another patient. My OCD took over, and I was very uncomfortable since he will also have to share the bathroom with his roommate. Hubby, who manages to stay in a good mood even when stressed, did not mind it at all. He actually prefers being in a double room since he loves having company.

His roommate turned out to be a very old chap, who had just undergone a heart catheter procedure. Despite the fact that by the time I left around 9pm, his roommate was still sedated, and barely moved or spoke, I had no doubt what so ever, that something interesting will happen overnight (the adventure of the ICU was still fresh in my mind), and could not wait to see hubby the next morning to hear all about it.

As expected, at around 2am, hubby woke up by the weak voice of his roommate calling the nurse. Since he knew that no one outside the room will be able to hear him, hubby told his roomie to press the red button next to him to call the nurse. When the poor - half sedated half deaf - guy did not respond, hubby pressed the button on his bed. A Filipina nurse, who looked kind and helpful came to the room.

In broken Arabic she asked roomie: "Aish fi baba??"
Baba :"fi dem!! fi wayed dem!!"
Nurse: " Ma fi mafhoum baba. Aish fi?? Fi alam?"
Baba :"fi dem!! fi waged dem!!"
Hubby:"I think his hearing is weak, so you better raise your voice."
Nurse: " MA FI MAFHOUM BABA. AISH FI?? FI ALAM??"
Baba: "Ma fi alam. Agoulek fi dem. Wayed dem fi sareer!! "
Hubby: "Dem means blood. He is trying to tell you that there is blood in his bed. "
The alarmed nurse, turned on the light and rushed back to the bed. When she could not see any blood in the bed, she relaxed, and with a big smile on her pretty face said: "INTA MA FI 3ANDAK DEM BABA. AISH FI MOUSHKILA?"
Baba : "Aish tegouli inti!! Ana ma 3andi dem?????"
Nurse:" AYWA BABA. WALAHI INTA MA 3ANDAK DEM BABA!!"
Hubby who was extremely enjoying this encounter, but did not want things to escalate much further said: "Yabouya hiya b te2oulak ino mafeesh dem fi el sereer."
Baba deciding to use the little English he knows: "Kaif ma fi dem? fi wayed WATER fi el sareer."
Nurse:"MOOMKEN INTA I3MEL BOAL W INTA NAYEM BABA!!"
Baba: "Aish tegouli inti? Ana reyal shaiba fi 3omr abouki. Ana abgha waladi ..."
Hubby sensing that this enjoyable lost in translation transaction can turn ugly told Baba:"Yabouya hedi nafsak. Heya mish fahma 3alaik."
And he quickly turned to the nurse saying:"I think you'd better get an Arabic-speaking nurse, and preferably a male nurse, to come take care of this patient, cause he is getting angry and agitated by this miscommunication."
Nurse:"Good idea doctor. MA FI ZA3AL BABA. FI HINA NURSE BA3D WA7ED DAGEEGA."

Unfortunately, the Arab male nurse was able to peacefully sort things out with Baba, so there are no more interesting dialogues to report. Fortunately for the nurse, by the time his son came to see him the following morning, Baba had forgotten the "MA FI 3ANDAK DEM" encounter.

See you in room 233.

p.s. Dedicated to Noran, who seems to enjoy the "Only with Nahoul & Family!!" weird posts.

Room 224

After his first cardioversion in the ER, my husband was admitted to the ICU for observation. All ten rooms in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit are single-patient rooms, and are equipped, with medical devices of every shape, size, and color. Observing nurses and doctors working in the other rooms, I never saw any of them use anything other than a stethoscope, thermometer, blood pressure and pulse monitor, and the IV drip.

Behind each bed are three outlets. The first outlet is green, and is definitely for Oxygen since the nurses have repeatedly connected it to a mask and placed it over my husband's face to help him breath easier. I heard rumors that pure oxygen has an age reversing effect, so when the nurses leave the room, I always ask hubby to lend me the oxygen mask for a while. But he never does.

The other two outlets, are blue and orange, and I never ever saw them used. So to avoid spending my time by my husband's bed, while he was resting or sleeping, worrying, and thus increasing my anxiety and gloomy mood, I decided to spend the time in trying to figure out what those two outlets are for. I finally came up with a couple of reasonable theories.

I believe the blue outlet is for laughing gas, which is known to have anesthetic and analgesic effects that must be useful in the ICU. Had I been in charge of the ICU, I would use it on all patients, even if they didn't need any sedation, so they can benefit from the healing effect of laughing. I would even recommend using it on the visiting family members, doctors, nurses, and janitors, just to improve the mood of everyone in the ICU.

As for the orange outlet, I think it is for mustard gas (thus the color). I know that mustard gas is a lethal poisonous gas that is supposed to be banned as a chemical weapon, but may be Dr. Kevorkian was consulted, and recommended adding this outlet just in case. Thank goodness, I've never seen this outlet used in any room.

Being in a single room and especially in the ICU where all the patients are tied to 37 tubes and wires, I never expected that my husband will have interesting stories to tell me when I went to visit him the next morning, but of course he did.

Patients in the ICU never get any continues sleep since nurses come in every couple of hours to check their vital signs, and between those visits, janitors come in to empty the trash baskets, clean the bathrooms, or sweep the floors. So when my husband heard someone in his room at midnight, he was not startled and slowly opened his eyes.

He was not prepared for what he saw. A guy in his late twenties, wearing a thoab that was raised to his waist was walking towards his bed. He stood still when he heard my husband, who by now was surprised, alarmed, and scared, ask: "Who are you??? And what are you doing here??"
Stranger: "Don't worry. Go back to sleep. I am here visiting my father."
Hubby: "But it is way past visiting hours and you should not be in the ICU at this time!!"
Stranger: "Well my father was just admitted a short while ago in the room next to yours, and I will be leaving soon any ways."
Hubby: "But what are you doing in MY room??"
Stranger: "Well, I just need to use your toilet. I will be out in a minute."
Hubby: "Wait here! Where do you think you're going? Why don't you use the visitors toilets outside or the toilet in your dad's room."
Stranger: "I am not sure where the visitors toilets are, and my brother is in my dad's toilet."
Hubby: "So? How long does your brother take to pee? I am sure if you go back to your dad's room now he will be done. So please leave my room immediately, otherwise I will call the nurses and have them deal with you."
Stranger: "OK, OK I'm leaving."
And as he was leaving the room he added: "I don't understand why make such a big fuss I was not stealing anything from your room you know. Actually, was going to add to it!! Ha Ha!!"

See you in room 232.

CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP!!

Looks could be deceiving. My acquaintances might believe (at least I think they do) that I am opinionated, independent, stubborn, obsessive, and tough. BUT, people who REALLY know me, realize that I am actually opinionated, independent, stubborn, obsessive, but not as tough as I look.

Deep down inside, I am a hopeless softy. I am actually very sensitive (حساسة) , despite the impression given by my posts that I am shenshitive (حشاشة) - sorry but this extremely old joke will only be appreciated (I hope) by Arabic speakers.

These past six weeks or so, have really been nerve wrecking. My husband has been to the Emergency Room and in the Intensive Care Unit as frequent as I wash my hands each day, my hubby & I fight each week, or even my mom calls - long distance - as soon as she suspects that one of us is not well. In other words A LOT!!

Although I am not a big fan of medical shows - cause I faint at the sight of blood - I did not mind , even enjoyed, watching patients being zapped with an electric shock to bring them back to life. I though it was cool hearing the doctor go: "CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP", and then seeing the lifeless electrocuted patient hitting the ceiling of the OR and then falling back into his bed alive.

In real life, and when I received a call at work from an ER nurse telling me not to panic but to come immediately to the ER to sign a consent giving the doctors permission to Cardiovert my husband, I immediately panicked, although I had no idea what the heck she was talking about. During my 10 minutes run from my office to the ER, the tough Nahoul disappeared, and the fragile person inside me, that one I usually manage to hide, took over.

Although my husband has been admitted to the ER several times in the past years, but seeing him there with wires connected to his arms, legs, and body, and the alarms on the monitor flashing and beeping like crazy immediately pushed the hand of the panic sensor in my head to the extreme panic zone. Before I could talk to him, the cardiologist walked in the cubical, told me that he could not wait for me so he already got the consent from my husband, (not sure how cause he was in no condition to sign his name, even if he was told that the consent was actually his marriage contract to Haifaa Wahbi) and asked me to wait behind the curtains cause he was going to do Cardioversion, which is administering an electric shock to his heart, because it was beating at the Speedy Gonzales rate of over 150 beats per minute, which is dangerous to his life!!!

I have no idea what sort of an expression was on my face at that particular moment, but it must have not been a smart one cause without me asking him to elaborate he added that it was like when a computer freezes because it is busy looping in an endless process, sometimes the only solution is to turn it off, then turn it back on again. He added that the shock will stop the heart, and when the heart automatically restarts, hopefully it will start beating at a normal heart rate. This I could understand. My only worry was the heart not responding to the treatment and its rate not going back to normal which is extremely dangerous to my husband,'s life considering his heart condition.

I am grateful that at the time (not sure due to the shock I was in, because of my strong faith in God, or because I am actually not that smart) I never contemplated the fact that there must be a small chance that (God forbid) the heart would not restart, thus the consent. Needless to say, hearing the doctor say "CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP", then hearing him add: "Normal sinus rhythm" after the first try was music to my ears. Thank God. I am truly grateful. Hubby was monitored in the ICU for a couple of days, and then released to go rest at home. I tried to be strong and supportive to him, but instead I was extremely anxious and must have added to his worries. Tough Nahoul my foot!!!

Not to be any less dramatic than ER or Gray's Anatomy, two weeks later, and after going back to work, he was admitted again to the ICU with the same problem and some additional complcations. After two more weeks of scare, frustration, panic, and contradicting doctors' opinions, he had to go through another Cardioversion (again I was standing steps away and could hear everything going on). This one too was successful, al hamd l Allah, and he is back to normal sinus rhythm.

I am happy to report, especially to my kids, that my husband is currently stable and that he is resting at home. He must have been really scared this time cause for the first time in his life he is actually taking it easy, and is following doctors' orders (touch wood, rock, & fiber glass).

As you must have guessed, he did have numerous adventures with fellow patients during his multiple stays, but I will tell you all about those adventures in another post.

p.s. To all those who provided their support and good wishes in the past difficult weeks, we both thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

A Night at the Hospital

My poor hubby had another attack of kidney stones. When he finally couldn't take the pain and actually went to the ER (no Clooney to my disappointment), they decided to admit him since the tests showed that he had something like 28 stones, of different sizes & shapes.

I went to visit him during the evening visiting hours and found that he shared a double room with an elderly guy. I'll nick name him Abdullah. Abdullah had the door bed, so to go to my husband's side of the room, I had to pass by Abdullah and his six or seven visitors who filled his side of the room.

Seeing that the women cover their faces and that the men were all bearded, I thought the suitable salute would be "Assalam 3alaikom". Wrong move. All what I got back was "Wa 3alikom...". By then, they all had time to look at me walking into the room, and impressively, they all stopped short of completing their reply and had the same expression on their faces, even the women who only showed their eyes. Surprise and Shock. I guess they expected this salute to come from a covered woman, a doctor, or a nurse. I could tell they definitely did not expect it from a woman who not only did not cover her hair, but also wore sweatpants and a T-shirt (I walked to the hospital so I thought I should wear something comfortable)

When I walked on to my hubby's side of the room, I could hear a well orchestrated sigh of relief (the highest came from Abdullah himself) since they then realized that I did not come to visit Abdullah. I bent to kiss my husband's forehead, but then stopped and looked across to make sure the curtain protected us from any curious eyes. I then looked around to find a chair, but discovered that Abdullah's visitors had hijacked all the chairs in the room.

I was tempted to go over to their side and ask for a chair, but decided to avoid a confrontation and sat at the foot of the bed, which was extremely uncomfortable, specially with the my bad back. I tried to have a conversation with my husband who looked exhausted, but the noise from Abdullah's side of the room made any civil volume-level conversation impossible.

My husband asked me to turn on the TV. I got up and was barely able to reach the power switch to do so. Unfortunately, I was not able to change the channel since the channels buttons were higher up. And guess what? The remote control was with Abdullah!!! Even if we had asked for the remote, it would have been useless since here was no way we could have heard anything anyways.

Don't know if this was normal, or if the Abdullah clan wanted to test our tolerance, since every two minutes, a member of the clan would come to the small sink in our half of the room to wash some coffee cups. I was just about to explode when my husband suggested that we go for a walk. Again, I am not sure if my dear hubby really wanted to go for a walk, wanted to avoid an inevitable confrontation with the Abdullah clan, or if he just wanted to MOON them.

Whatever his reason was, hubby, the IV stand with the solution connected to his veins, & I left the room for the Abdullah clan. We found comfortable bench in an outdoor courtyard and stayed there until the end of visiting hours. Actually we stayed a bit longer to make sure Abdullah's visitors are all gone. Reaching the room, I thought that there were only three possibilities.

1. The visitors are still be there (bummer)
2. The visitors are gone (good)
3. Abdullah was discharged and sent home (al hamd l Allah)

Unfortunately, I was not prepared for the forth possibility: The visitors were gone, Abdullah was in his bed, AND another patient was in my husband's bed!!!!!

My husband must have seen the expression on my face so he asked to let him handle this. He walked calmly to the guy sitting in his bed. I will call him bed-thief.

Hubby:"Marhab ya abouya, looks like you are in the wrong room"
Bed-theif:"No this IS MY bed"
Hubby:" But I have been here all day and my stuff....." he discovers that his stuff is gone, so he leaves the room and goes to the nurses' desk.
Hubby:" I am XXXX from room xxxx. Did you move me to a different room?"
Nurse:" No DR.XXXX, we did not"
Hubby:"There is a patient sitting in my bed and all my personal belongings are gone"
Nurse:"Oh my!! Please come with me"
Nurse:"Excuse me, what are you doing in this bed???"
Bed Thief:"Well Abdullah told me to ...."
Adbullah:"This is my friend. I want him to be my roommate!!"
Nurse:"This is a hospital and not a coffee shop. You cannot just move people around." to the bed-thief: "get out of this bed and back to your room. And by the way, were are all the doctors belonging?"
Bed-theif:"In my old room, he can stay there"
Hubby to the nurse:"Listen, I have no problem moving to the other room. I am tired and just wanna rest."
Nurse:"No doctor. This is not possible. Bed assignments are based on the case. This guy is not even from the surgical ward. I cannot switch your beds." to the bed-thief:"I will go collect Dr.XXX stuff from your room and by the time I get back I don't want to find you here."
Hubby:"Sorry ya abouya, we cannot switch rooms. Please get off my bed cause I need to rest."
My husband & I sit in the now empty chairs waiting for bed-thief to leave.
Abdullah:"This nurse is just being nasty. I don't see why he cannot switch your beds. When he brings your stuff, we'll tell him that we will do as he says, but then just leave my friend here and you go sleep in his bed."
Hubby:"Are you serious??"
Adbullah:"Yes, why not?"
Hubby:"How about the vital signs check they do every two hours??"
Abdullah:"You both look healthy to me. They won't know the difference."
Hubby:"How about the medication?"
Abdullah:"Don't swollow it and tomorrow swap medications with my friend."
Hubby:"How about if they decide that I undergo the operation tomorrow morning, and they take your friend to the OR instead of me?"
Hearing that, bed-thief jumps from the bed and says:"No No Abdullah. Any thing but this. I will come sit with you all day long, but I will not switch beds with the doctor here. Good night."
Adbullah laughing:"Oh my, never thought about that. Excuse me doctor, I just wanted his company"
Nurse walking in with hubby's stuff:"Did he leave?? Al hamd l Allah. How did you convince him to go. I was coming back expecting him to put up a fight. Oh well, I forgot that you are a psychiatrist. You must have hypnotized him. ha ha"
Hubby:"Not really, but close."
Nurse:"Well done. I will send you someone to change the bed sheets right away. And Abdullah, please no more funny stuff"
Abdullah:"Sure. And now that I found out that my roommate is a psychiatrist, I would have sent my friend away myself. I think I will enjoy the rest of my stay with Dr.XXX."
Moi to hubby :"I don't know how you do it. But anyways, take care, and enjoy your conversation with your new friend Abdullah. Good night."
Hubyy:"Good night."
Abdullah:"Good night and don't worry, I'll take good care of him".

A Night at the Movies

I used to be a movie junkie, but after being disappointed too many times, I lost interest and would only go to the movie theater once or twice a year as a hostage. My kidnapper is usually my husband who LOVES going to the theater regardless of what is showing. Until recently, I could not understand his addiction to wasting his money and time on REAL BAD movies.

Thanks to my son's account of his night at the movies with his dad, I finally got it. My husband does not go to watch the movie at all!!! He goes to the theater to watch other movie goers!!!!

Here are a couple of scenes from the Egyptian reality movie that my husband paid 25 L.E. to enjoy:
Scene 1: Interior - Movie Theater in Egypt- Mid night.

A crowded movie theater with way too many kids running around. Trailers of "Coming Soon" movies are being shown.
Kid#1: KHAAALAAAAWEEEES? (ready?)
Different kids from different locations in the theater: LESSAA (not yet)
Two other kids went up the stage and started copying whatever was showing on the screen.
Stage Kid#1:"Mama, look at me. I am driving a car"
Stage Kid#2:"No ya Tamer, I am driving. You're dead already!!!"
Mo: "Is this going to continue even when the movies starts?"
Hubby, enjoying the entertainment, but pretending that he is not: "We'll soon find out."
The movie starts.
Kid#2: KHAAALAAAAWEEEES? (ready?)
Different kids from different locations in the theater: LESSAA (not yet)
Kid#2: Lessa walla ma lessa, ana gai!! (ready or not, here I come)
The two kids on stage are still continuing with their own low budget movie production.
Mo: "I cannot follow the dialog in this noise"
Hubby: "I will explain the whole movie to you later"
The voice of Hifaa Wahbi singing "Fain el wawa" rises loud and clear from the cell phone of the guy sitting in the row in front of them.
Mo laughing: "No way!! I'm actually starting to enjoy this"
Wawa guy: "Yes ya 7amo!! I'm at the movies. No, no need to hang up. The movie is very funny. I will hold my cell phone up so you can hear the jokes. Ha ha ha. Did you hear that?? No, he was saying....."
Mo: "Is this normal dad??"
Hubby: "Shhhhhhhhh. Just listen"
Mo:"All this racket, and you're hushing me???? That's the funniest thing I heard since the movie started"
A guy sitting next to Mo finally looses his temper.
Angry guy screaming: "Is this a movie theater or a Zoo? I paid 100 pounds to watch the movie and not to watch your damn kids play hide and seek and jump in front of the screen like monkeys. Parents of all those ill mannered kids should get up immediately and carry their kids back to their seats or else I will go outside and ask security to throw them all out.
Suddenly, about eight dads and moms (including his own wife) got up and escorted their kids back to their seats.
Mo falling off his chair and laughing out loud:''This is hilarious. I'm loving it!! Now I know why you come to the theater as often as you do dad."
Hubby:"This will be our little secret. Don't tell your mom."

Scene 2: ...............................

Are you enjoying this? Well, if you are, and you wanna watch scene 2, get dressed and go the nearest movie theater. Movie playing is not important. Just make sure it is a late show, and that there are lots of hyper kids around.

3amar ya Masr.

I want to live my next life backwards

What if you live your next life backwards?
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy.
You go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

..........................
(if you want to read the complete version of this chain-letter, click here )

I usually delete junk mail as soon as I receive it. For some reason, I glanced through this one before hitting the delete button. I'm glad I did as it made me ponder how we usually make the most crucial decisions in our lives during our teens. Those grave decisions determine our career, job, income, environment, friends, spouse(s), kids,.....thus every aspect of our future.

Were we qualified and well prepared at this tender age, characterized by inexperience, naiveness, and unrealistic expectations to do so? Were we properly guided at home or at school to be able to choose wisely? Even if we were blessed with caring and omniscient parents or teachers who were ready to give us their own experience to benefit from, would we have listened to their advice?
My answer to all of the above is: "I don't think so".

Accordingly, if you are above 40, and looking back on your life you see that you made at least one successful decision (career, marriage, ...), then do consider yourself lucky and blessed.

I am happy with most of my decisions, but if given a chance to live a next life, forward or backwards, I will definitely choose a different .................. career.

p.s. My husband checks this blog regularly, so revealing a different choice would not only impact my next life, but this one too!!!