مصير مثقفة

علشان أكون حقانية ومش بكتب سلبيات زوجي العزيز وبأطنش على إجابياته (الكلام لك يا جار) ، أحب أقر وأعترف إنه لما رجع من السفر جابلي هدية (بدل الكتيب إياه).ء

طبعآ أول سؤال منطقي لازم يكون: هوه لحق يسافر؟ مش هوه لسه راجع من رحلة علاج؟ والإجابة هيه :هو قالي أعتبريها أجازة مرتيه!! (على وزن مرضيه) وبعدين هو أعصابه بترتاح لما بيبعد عني ياأخي، وأنا كمان مابصدق علشان أخد راحتي في تنظيف البيت خصوصآ الأماكن والحاجات اللي بيعتبرها جنان رسمي (زي تنظيف قلب مفاتيح النور بقطن الودان، بزمتكم، فيها حاجه دي؟؟) ء

أما السؤال المنطقي الثاني فهو: جابلك أيه ياصبيه حبيبك لما عاد؟ (مش عارفه إيه اللي فكرني بالأغنيه دي ، فاكرين عايدة الشاعر؟؟) والإجابة علي السؤال ده هيه: كتب طبعآ!! من ساعة ما إنسحبت من لساني وإعترفت إني ماليش في الدهب والمرجان والياقوت (أحمدك يارب) وهو مابينساش الحكاية دي أبدآ أبدآ ودايمآ بيهاديني كتب أو ورد أو سيديهات مزيكا!! وأوحش حاجة في الموضوع هي إني فعلآ بأفرح بالحاجات دي!!ء

والإجابة على:" أي كتب؟" هي: :كتاب جديد لأحلام مستغانمي مؤلفة الرواية المفرطة في العزوبة ذاكرة الجسد (كنت على وشك الإستغراب إن كتبها لسة موجودة في مصر مع إنها جزائرية، لكن الحمد لله إن عندنا عقلاء بيرفضوا إستبدال عدائنا المستحق -والمتواضع- لإسرائيل و الصهاينة- أرجو ملاحظة إني ماقلتش اليهود- بعداء جنوني وغير مبرر للجزائر وشعبها وحتي لماجدة قصدي لجميلة بوحريد اللي نقابة مصرية قررت وقف حملة التبرع لعلاجها!! أو الإحتمال الثاني -والأرجح - هو إن الجهل نورون ومشجعين الكورة عمرهم ما سمعوا عنها أصلآ)  أما الكتاب التاني فهو لرضوى عاشور مؤلفة رائعة ثلاثية غرناطة.ء

فرحت جدآ جدآ إن زوجي أخيرآ عرف وإفتكر نوعية الكتب والكتاب اللي بحبهم، وأنا فعلآ سعيدة جدآ بيهم. عقبال مايعرف ويفتكر إني مش باخد سكر في الشاي أو زرنيخ في القهوة قولوا يارب .ء

المهم إن المقدمة الطويلة- واللي ملهاش لزمة- دي كانت علشان أقول إني لما شفته بيطلع الكتب من شنطته إفتكرت موقف حصللي من حوالي عشرين سنة (عشرين سنة!! يانور النبي!!) كنت زهقت من قراءة الكتب الإنجليزي البست سللز (ربنا ما يحكم عليا بقرائتها تاني يارب) وبما إن المكتبة هنا كان لسة مافيهاش بيبي -إنصرف يافؤاد يامهندس-  قصدي مافيهاش كتب عربي، قررت إني أشتري كل كتب توفيق الحكيم من مصر وأجيبها معايا هنا. زي ماحنشوف، من عشرين سنة دي كانت فكرة منيلة بنيلة.ء

نزلت من الطيارة و خلصت إجراءات الوصول، وأستلمت الشنط، وبقلب جامد رحت على مكان التفتيش. المفتش فتح الشنطة من هنا وعينك ماتشوف إلا النور!! شرار طلع من عينه وأصوات غربية طلعت من بقه!! كان معايا حوالي أربعين كتاب وكان الغلاف من ورق زي ورق النشاف أو ورق اللحمة، شوية أخضر وشوية أصفر وشوية برتقالي. بس المشكلة كانت في الشوية اللي غلافهم أحمر. مش عارفة سيادة المفتش فكر في إيه بالظبط - ومش عايزة أعرف- المهم إنه دب إيدة جوة الشنطة وطلع الكتب كلها. وطبعآ إعتمادآ على إطلاعه الواسع و ثقافتة الأوسع، قرر إنة يفرزالكتب المسموحة من الغير مسموحة بناء على عنوانها (صحيح عندنا مثل بيقول الكتاب يبان من عنوانه بس عمري ما كنت أتصور إني حاشوف التطبيق العملي للمثل ده، وكمان المثل في الإنجليزية بيقول عكس كدة، فكنت متشوقة أعرف مين فيهم اللي صح.)ء

نبتدي الفرز. عصفور من الشرق: مسموح، يوميات نائب في الأرياف: مسموح، براكسا ومشكلة الحكم: غير مسموح :طبعآ، يعني مش كفاية التلميح إن أي حكم ممكن يكون فيه أي مشكلة، لأ وكمان واحدة ست هية اللي معترضة!! هزلت. نكمل: ليلة الزفاف: غير مسموح -مش محتاجة شرح دي، شهرزاد: مسموح، أهل الكهف: مسموح، الأيدي الناعمة: ؟؟؟ ممكن كدة وممكن كدة. طب خلي الكتاب دة في كومة ثالثة لواحدة.  عصا الحكيم: مافيش مشاكل، حمار الحكيم: أيش هادة؟ بس برضة مافيش مشاكل، حماري ومؤتمر الصلح: لأ كدة قلة أدب، غير مسموح، ياطالع الشجرة: شجرة نخلة مافيش مشاكل، راقصة المعبد: ثكلتك أمك، غير مسوح.ء

هنا كان شكل المفتش أبتدى يزهق، خصوصآ إنه إكتشف إن الكتب مافيهاش صور، فإبتدى يلكلك: شمس وقمر: مسموح، مع الزمن: مسموح، زهرة العمر: مسموح، أقاصيص ونوادر أشعب: مسموح، حماري وحزب النساء: هي إيه حكاية الجدع دة مع الحمير: طيب مش مسموح، السلطان الحائر: مش مسموح، سلطان الظلام: شرحة، هي والراهب: أستغفر الله، عهد الشيطان: دا كافر دا ولا إيه، الملك أوديب: وكمان مش عارف إسم الملك!! حماري وحزب النساء: مافيش ولا حمير ولا حريم حيعدوا من تحت إيدي!!  ء

لحد هنا وكنت مجرد ندمانة على جلب هذا العدد الكبير من الكتب واللي كلها لتوفيق الحكيم لإني كنت معجبة جدآ بكتاباتة وإعجابي زاد لما عرفت إنه يقربلنا من بعيد، بعيد أوي، وكنت بأسلي نفسي وببرطم بصوت واطي: ألهم  طولك ياروح. أما لما المفتش سألني: إيش فيكي؟ كل الكتب للحكيم؟  حكيم ايش دة؟ رديت: لأ مش طبيب، هوه إسمه كدة، دا كاتب مشهور عندنا. وطبعآ ماجبتش سيرة القرابة من قريب أوبعيد وبرطمتي تحولت لدعاء: ربنا يعدي اليوم المهبب ده على خير.ء

عودة الوعي: هو مغمى عليه؟ عودة الروح: دة شيئ بيد الله وحدة.  أيش أيش أيش؟؟؟ ، مصير صرصار: أيش الجرف؟؟ إيش بيه دة؟ حمير وصراصير!! والله لوطلعلي كتاب تاني فيه حيوانات أو حشرات أو سلاطين لاكون مصادرهم كلهم.ء

وعلى حظي الطين (على وزن سلاطين)، تفتكروا أيه الكتاب اللي طلعله وهو متنرفز كدة؟ أرني ألله طبعآ!! ومن غير ماأعيد اللي إتقال عن قريبي، أخدتها من قاصرها ولميت الكتب كلها وعطيتها للمفتش بنفسي.ء

وللقصة بقية.ء 

A Star Is Born

Upon listening to this album, I recognized a huge talent. Nadine has a beautiful expressive voice, and her music complements and stresses, but never clashes with her deep lyrics.

Nadine's songs reminded me of a simple yet powerful statement by one of my favorite singers/song writers: Billie Myers (hint: Kiss the rain). She said something like:"I am grateful that I had a complex childhood, otherwise my songs would have been as shallow as Celine's (she didn't use the word "shallow", and never named "Celine", but you get the point, she meant the lovey-dovey stuff).

Nadine's lyrics are powerful, honest, and clearly reflect emotions she wrestled with in her childhood, and throughout her teens. I guess all that is summarized in the eloquent album title: Catharsis (catharsis: the purification of the emotions primarily through art).  They also indicate that she has matured into a strong, self-assured, and extremely spiritual young lady.

Good for you Nadine and all the best.

Your number#1 fan

Nahoul

Click here to go to her site & listen to two of her songs. Enjoy.

الكون كله يتخلف

زوجي الحبيب روح من يومين وقالي معايا هدية هايلة لكي.  ومع إني إنسانه مش مادية زي مادونا لكن بصراحة فرحت لإنه إفتكرني حتى وهو خارج لوحده مع أصحابه.ء

بس يافرحة ماتمت. الهدية طلعت الكتيب اللي على اليمين.صحيح هوه إدعي إنه جابهولي علشان أكتب عليه في البلوج، بس خاليكوا شاهدين إني لسه عايزة هدية بجد لزوم علاج الإحباط.ء

بعد رد الفعل الطبيعي لمل شفت الصورة اللي على الغلاف، واللي كان في شكل صرخة عالية بالنداء " يامه!!" (أوخليها "يامامي!!" إذا كان القارئ شيك) أخدت منه الكتيب واللي طلع دعوة كريمة لإلغاء وجود المرأه يوزعة ثلاث رجال لابسين جلاليب شانيل و مربيين الدقون المنكوشة إياها. ما علينا، خلينا في المهم و هي إن هؤلاء يدعون إن الكون مليئ  بالعلامات اللي بتدلل علي ضرورة إخفاء المرأة،  وإللي إحنا بغباوه مش شايفيينها. ء

أنا حأعرض بعض الصور من الكتيب، وحأضيف تعليق صغير مش علشان أناقشهم في وجهة نظرهم لإنهم "هوبلس كيس"، ولكن علشان أعلمهم يعرفوا يختاروا أمثلة تدخل في مخ أي إنسان عندة "أي كيو" أعلى منهم! ء

أولآ: الهدية: أقول إيه بس، حتى المثال نفسه ضدهم. حد يقولهم من فضلكم إن أي هدية مش بتفضل متغطية أكتر من مسافة السكة من المحل حتي تقديمها للمهدى إليه. وأول حاجه لازم الواحد يعملها لما ياخد أي هدية،هيه إنه يفتحها!! وعمرها مابتتغطى تاني أبدآ.  أظن واضح غباوه التشبيه.ء

    ثانيآ: الخلية النباتية: في الموت كلنا بنتلف أو بنتحط في صناديق. ستات و رجالة زي بعض. إللي بعده.ء

ثالثآ: البذور النباتية: لامؤاخذة، أفتكر إن التشبيه دة له إسم: "وأد البنات"!! وأفتكر كمان إن الإسلام حرمه مع الأسف!!ء

رابعآ: السلك الكهربائي: يا مثبت العقل والدين يارب!!أتنقب بكرة لو الأفندي اللي كتب المثال ده شرحلي وجه الشبه بين السلك الكهربائي و المرأة!! الظاهر إنه كان بيفكر في الراقصه اللي بيحطوا اللمبة على صدرها تنور!!ء

خامسآ: الكعبة:  إلا في موسم الحج لما أمة لا إله إلا ألله بتحضنها و بتبوسها!!ء

سادسآ: القلم: القلم مذكر الإسم والشكل..إيه اللي جاب أمه (ولا أوقع خليها) قصدي إيه اللي جاب أبوه للمرأة؟؟؟ ء

فيه صور وأمثلة تانية وكلها بنفس المنطق الغريب دة اللي بيقارن جماد ونبات للمرأة (إيش جاب لجاب؟) بس مش حأقدر أكمل النهاردة علشان ضغطي إرتفع وجالي سكر وكولسترول ودوخة وغممان نفس!!ء

سؤال واحد محيرني. ليه كل اللي بيسترزقوا من الدين مركزين كدة على الستات؟ عقد من الطفولة؟ هواية؟ غلاسة؟  تقل دم؟ ولاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله.  سلام
.ملحوظة: الكتيب مستعمل كلمة حجاب للزي المعروف في مصر بالنقاب 

Safe & Sound

To family and friends, I am glad to announce that my husband is feeling much better after the treatment he received in London, and that we are safely back home al hamd l Allah.

We were extremely happy to see Noona and Kole in London and to enjoy the warmth of their love and support. As clear in the picture, hubby is clinically well but carefully examining the picture,  I am not sure about his mental condition. No I am not worried about Noona & Kole since ALL their pictures are ALWAYS crazy!!

I plan to post the details of this trip (as per several requests), but I can only do so after I'm done unpacking & cleaning the house (you have to admit that this is a photogenic picture of moi).

If you really miss my posts, then you are kindly invited to come help with the house work.

p.s. Individuals who don't suffer from OCD need not apply.

مؤتمر الحزب

سأحاول أن أكون متحضرة وموضوعية في كلامي عن المؤتمر إياه.ء

أولا، احيي الحزب على إصراره على تمتع جميع أعضاءه بالصحة الجيدة لزوم اليقاء في المناصب لسنين طويلة، ولضمان عدم إصابة أي من الأعضاء بفقر الدم (الأنيميا) حيث أن أرتفاع نسبة الهيموجلوبين في الدم (والتي يسهل تشخيصها من إحمرار لون ................. كفوفهم و ثقل دمهم) من صفات الأساسية التي تميز أعضاء الحزب عن باقي أفراد الشعب المريض أبو دم خفيف. ء

 ثانيآ أحيي الحزب على شعار "من أجلك أنت" ولو إني عندي سؤال. هو إية دة اللي من أجللنا؟ المؤتمر؟ بس ماحدش عزمنا!! الإصلاح الإقتصادي؟ الغلابة لسه غلابه بل أكثر غلبآ!! الصناعي؟ يعني إيه صناعة؟ الزراعي؟ يعني أيه مجاري؟ الصحي؟ يعني أيه جنازة؟ الثقافي؟ إخرص ياكافر!! التعليمي؟ حد يقرالي الكلام ده علشان مابعرفش أقرأ!! أمال ياترى هوه إيه ده اللي من أجلنا؟؟؟؟؟ أرجو إنه يكون شئ ليس له أي علاقة بالصورة.

ثالثا، أشكر وزير الإعلام علي البرامج الهابطة والمملة اللتي تيثها قنوات التلفزيون المصري بحيث كانت مشاهدة فعاليات الحزب لمدة ثلاث أيام كاملة مسلية ومشوقة. سؤال:صحيح إنك غطيت المؤتمر (هو كان بردان؟) بكل القنوات الرسمية بس نسيت قناة النيل كوميدي مع إن الحضور كانوا مبتسمين طول الوقت. يارب فرحنا زيهم.ء

رابعآ، أرجو من وزير الصحه إنه ينسى حكايه المصل المضاد لأنفلونزا الخنازير دي بقى. الحكاية شكلها لعبه من شركات الأدويه بالإتفاق مع منظمة الصحه العالمية. ولو حصل وطلعت الحكاية جد، والمرض إنتشر في البلد، ومات إتنين، قول ثلاثة مليون واحد، يبقى دي إرادة ربنا،ويبقوا خدوا الشر وراحوا، خصوصآ إن أغلببهم حيكونوا من الغلابة اللي زاحمين البلد وموسخينها على الفاضي!! بس ياريت الفلوس اللي كانت حتتصرف على المصل، تجيبلنا بيها مصل تاني موجود في أغلب البلاد إللي خارج وطنا الحبيب. مصل مضاد للنفاق (الظاهرإن الحبوب اللي رماها فؤاد المهندس في النيل تأثيرها باتع!! أتشووووووواا.................... بالروح بالدم نفديك ياحزبنا!!)

خامسآ، أرجو من أي مسؤل في الحزب أن يشرح للأخ أحمد عز أنه مؤتمر الحزب وليس مؤتمر الحرب، وعلى هذا الأساس لا داعي للخطاب العدائي لكل من لا ينتمي للحزب، أي لأكثر من 77 مليون مصري!! وعلشان أنا مش متأكدة إن الأخ ضليع في اللغة الإنجليزية، إسمحولي أحاول أترجم القول المأثورللمفكر والمثقف و الأستاذ الجامعي بجامعات برينستون وهارفارد د.كورنل وست و المذكور في البوست السابق: "الطاووس يختال لأنه لايستطيع الطيران. يتكبر لأنه غير واثق ولا أمن" عجبي.ء

كنت دائمآ بأنسى الكامة الإنجليزي للمؤتمر الحزبي. من النهاردة عندي أحساس إني عمري ماحنساها تاني. مؤتمر الحزب يعني
caucus!!!

Kalam by my brother Cornel West

You can't lead the people if you don't love the people. You can't save the people if you don't serve the people.

This quote is dedicated to the Egyptian government, the National Democratic Party, the Egyptian Parliament, the so-called Muslim Brotherhood, & the wanna be leaders.

I come from a tradition that says: ”Peacocks strut because they cannot fly. They snob because they are insecure.”

This quote is dedicated to the Egyptian nouveau riche and their kids.

Education in the Arab world.

While the Egyptian popular media has unanimously decided to put the critical issues infecting the Egyptian society on the back burner and is instead busy discussing whether "to cover (women's faces) or not to cover", here is how the Economist magazine has depicted the sorry state of education in the Arab world:

Laggards trying to catch up

A RECENT issue of Science, the weekly journal of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, was devoted to research into “Ardi” orArdipithecus ramidus, a 4.4m-year-old hominid species whose discovery deepens the understanding of

human evolution. These latest studies suggest, among other things, that rather than descending from a closely related species such as the chimpanzee, the hominid branch parted earlier than previously thought from the common ancestral tree.

In much of the Arab world, coverage of the research took a different spin. “American Scientists Debunk Darwin”, exclaimed the headline in al-Masry al-Youm, Egypt’s leading independent daily. “Ardi Refutes Darwin’s Theory”, chimed the website of al-Jazeera, the region’s most-watched television channel. Scores of comments from readers celebrated this news as a blow to Western materialism and a triumph for Islam. Two or three lonely readers wrote in to complain that the report had inaccurately presented the findings of the research.

The response to Ardi’s unearthing was not surprising. According to surveys, barely a third of Egyptian adults have ever heard of Charles Darwin and just 8% think there is any evidence to back his famous theory. Teachers, who might be expected to know better, seem equally sceptical. In a survey of nine Egyptian state schools, where Darwin’s ideas do form part of the curriculum for 15-year-olds, not one of more than 30 science teachers interviewed believed them to be true. At a private university in the United Arab Emirates, only 15% of the faculty thought there was good evidence to support evolution.

To read the complete article click here.

Qibya massacre

Today marks the 56th anniversary of the massacre in the Palestinian village Qibya. Every fall in Qibya during the olive harvesting season, the memory of the attack is kept alive in a mourning ceremony. A memorial plaque behind the village mosque honors Sharon's victims.

To read more about this massacre, click here.

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off!!!

Lately I have the urge to repeat after Lucy van Pelt, of the comic strip Peanuts created by the late Charles Schultz:
"STOP THE WORLD
I WANNA GET OFF!!!"

Do I need to explain why? Didn't think so, but I will tell you just in case you guess wrong. It's the headlines of these turbulent days:

Goldstone row rumbles on
Hebron: “Youth Dies Of Earlier Wounds, Nine Residents Wounded, Two Detained”
Abu Zuhri: “Abbas' Speech Contradictory, Filled With Misinformation”
Palestinian U-turn on Gaza report
UN delays action on Gaza war report
New brochure markets East Jerusalem homes to Jewish families
Yemen vows to fight rebels for "years" to come
Farewell to “El-Doctor”
Iran 'sentences three to death'
Al-Azhar face-veil ban questioned
Hamas crackdown on Gaza challengers
Another injustice to Palestinians
Yemen faces 'humanitarian crisis'
Hilltop Youth push to settle West Bank
The rise of the military rabbis
Early exit
The waste of profit
Sudan claims Halayeb, Shalatin as electoral constituencies
Fake "hymen" sparks outrage in Egypt
Alexandria torture trial postponed
Jail for Jordan 'honour killing'
Monsoon threatens Sri Lankan refugees with 'humanitarian disaster'

You see, I was not exaggerating.

Why haven't I actually gotten off yet? Well, because there were also a few positive news items such as........, well I guess they are much harder to find. Oh I guess beating Zambia 1-0 and renewing Egypt's hopes to qualify for the World Cup in S.A. could be considered my life savior.

School Friends

As I mentioned in the previous post, I am a member of a Yahoo group for the graduates of my old school's class of 1996.

Since some of you might know my true identity, I am forced to tell the truth and to admit that it was actually the class of 1986. You still don't believe me? I was just kidding, it's actually the class of 1981. OK forget about the year, we just graduated some time in the past, the exact date is not important.

We all had two things in common. First, our parents belonged to the lost/diluted Egyptian middle class. I am sure there were some exceptions, i.e. students who belonged to the higher class of the society, but the socialist policies of the sixties (did I actually say sixties??) made those differences less flagrant than they are nowadays. Second, we were all a bit crazy in the head.

After years of not seeing any of my classmates, with the exception of two or three close friends, I was once again reunited with them. Well I should say with the 25 to 35 of them who are either active in the Yahoo group I was invited to join, or who regularly attend reunions. Among the group are representatives of all the diverse believes and characters, composing the tapestry of the current Egyptian society.

Allow me to introduce the ones I've been in close contact with for the past two years.

First we have the Moderator. Since he is also a relative of mine and a frequent reader of this blog, I am obliged to be nice to him, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. We all owe Mr. Moderator for starting the Yahoo group, and for being one of the most active members in reunions. He is also the official photographer of the group. When needed, he also acts as the peace maker between the two most notorious members of the group (they know exactly who they are). He is also a fellow blogger, and I hate to admit, a good one too. So by now you must be thinking, What a guy!! Well, think again. He is not that perfect. When I joined the group I discovered that he has hijacked my family name and is using it as if he is the most important member of the family!!

Second we have Ms. aPolotica. This member of the group, who is also very active as an organizer of reunions and events, and is the backup photographer, claims that she is allergic to political discussions. I've caught her more than once expressing political views, but she always denies it. She is the first blogger in the group, and (I hate to admit) is an eloquent writer. Again before getting the wrong impression, let me tell you that she is also known as Shereera. She has a scary laugh, and always beats my husband in online Scrabble, and I am later left with the unpleasant job of trying to cheer him up and promising that he will be able to beat her in the next game. This hasn't happened yet!!

Next we have Ms. Serene. Contrary to her name, she is an extremely active, vibrant, and outspoken member of the group. She has been to every reunion I attended, and is usually the one who takes care of the venue reservation. Her presence adds a positive and happy feeling to the meetings since she is always laughing at the group's jokes, even the lame ones. That's a great attitude that I truly appreciate cause I am usually the one telling those lame jokes.

Not to forget Madam ShuShu. Another active member of the group who has also been to all reunions I went to. If you're wondering, Shushu stands for Shitan. And not any Shitan, it's the sweet tooth Shitan who always urges the group to have dessert after dinner. Like Serene, Shushu has a great distinguished contagious laugh that spreads around the group like wildfire.

The rest of the group owes a lot to those four members for keeping the group active and alive.

Other active participants are: Sweet Toshka, Scary but Funny Raya & Sekina, the Yin and Yang brothers Hakim & Zadood, el okht Ebti, Butch, the never seen together Stranger twins, Darling Dolly, Omda the Gentleman, dear Zamalkaweya brothers Fanan, Saher, Maged & Maged, the Veil Sisters, Regardful Ragroug, The GiGis, the What's up Docs Hani & Nabil, Sahroor & Abu el Fadl, the Farag cousins, Nifa, ........................

What is my role in the group? Well, I start fights, thus keeping the discussions interesting.

M.E.A.D.

I've just discovered that I suffer from a bad case of M.E.A.D. Don't feel too ignorant if you've never heard of his serious disorder before reading those lines cause the disorder was only discovered and named by me less than three minutes ago.

Now that you are truly alarmed and worried about me (you'd better be), let me ease your suffering. The acronym stands for Multiple Email Addresses Disorder. If you're tempted to say: "Oh, is that it? I got that too. I have two emails, one for work and another one for personal correspondences", then don't.

Do you really think that if my case was that simple, that I would be wasting your (and my own more valuable) time on this post. On my first attempt, I counted five different addresses. A recount showed that I actually have a total of seven active email accounts!!

The first was my work address. Second came a Hotmail account. Then when Gmail was still in its trail phase, I created two addresses, one for family, and another one for friends. Then to post frank, liberal, and progressive comments on newspapers' sites and blogs without fear of being paid a visit by midnight security forces, I created another Gmail address in my husband's name (no habibi, just kidding). And to join the Yahoo Group of old school friends, I had to create a Yahoo account, and this lead to another dedicated Gmail address to receive the hundreds of emails sent by this good for nothing group cause the Yahoo account had limited features.

The saddest aspect of my disorder is that I have three of those accounts open all day long, two I check several times a day, and the last two, I check several times each week. In other words, I have no life away from my laptop.

To help find a cure for this serious disease, please send all your money to my brand new email address: mareeda.gedan@nasabeen.com. Thank you.

Sowing Crisis

Prior to reading Sowing Crisis, I had never thought that an "Arab Cold War" existed and that it was a direct product of the "Cold War" between the two major powers of the time, the USA & the USSR.

In "Sowing Crisis" Khalidi clearly illustrates the way in which these two "battles" are connected.

Really interesting read.

Rashid Khalidi is the Edward Said Professor of Modern Arab Studies at Colombia University.

Click here to watch the talk titled: "Palestine: 40 Years of Occupation, 60 Years of Dispossession".

The happiest day of my childhood

In spite of my poor memory, I remember October 6th 1973, as if it was yesterday.

This glorious day remains as one of the happiest days of my life.

God bless every soldier, officer, and civilian who were involved in the planning and the execution of the victory that gave me back my pride and dignity.

(I am in such a good mood that I won't even make any exceptions)

Muslim Narratives and the Discourse of English

This book by Amin Malak offers a series of engagements with fiction written by Anglophone Muslim writers. The book focuses on well-known novels including Ahdaf Soueif's The Map of Love and Nuruddin Farah's Close Sesame; lesser-known fictional works by Ahmad Ali, Abdulrazak Gurnah, M. G. Vassanji, and Adib Khan; and works of pioneering and contemporary Muslim women writers including Rokeya Hossain, & Fatima Mernissi.

Here's a list of the writers and their work discussed in the book:

• Rokeya Sakhawat Hossain's (Bengali) Sultana's Dream (1905)
  
• Ahmed Ali's (Indian) Twilight in Delhi (1940)
• Iqbalunnisa Hussain (Indian) Purdah and Polygamy (1944)
• Attia Hosain (Indian) Phoenix Fled (1953)
  
• Mena Abdullah (Australian) The Time of the Peacock (1967)
• Salman Rushdi (Indian-British) Midnight Children (1981)
• Nuruddin Farrah (Somali) Close Sesame (1983)
• Ahdaf Soueif (Egyptian-British) Aisha (1983)
• Zaynab Alkali (Nigerian) The Stillborn (1984)
• Abdelrazak Gurnah (Zanzibari-British) Memory of Departure (1987)
• M.G. Vassanji (Indian-East African-Canadian) The gunny Sack (1989)
• Farhana Sheikh (Pakistani) The Red Box (1991)
• Che Husna Azhari (Malaysian) The Rambutan Orchard (1993)
• Fatma Merrnisi (Moroccan) Dreams of Trespass (1994)
  
• Adib Khan (Bengali-Australian) Seasonal Adjustments (1995)

Federer's Miracle Shot

Did you see Federer's miracle shot in his semi-final game against Novak Djokovic in the US Open?

If not yet, then watch it here.

The Greatest Tennis lesson

The Women's semi-final match in the US Open Tennis Tournament between Serina Williams & Kim Clijsters was not only entertaining, but also educational.

In spite of being the only American left in the tournament, in both the men's & women's singles draws, the chair umpire did not hesitate to warn Williams, for racket abuse.

Later in the match, Williams was called for her second foot fault of the match on a second serve at 5-6, 15-30. As a result, Clijsters earned double-match point and Williams snapped, approaching the lines-person who made the call and shouting loudly at the woman.

Following a brief discussion with the tournament referee, Williams was called for her second code violation of the match – this time for unsportsmanlike conduct. As tennis rules dictate, a player’s second code violation is a point penalty. Thus it was game, set, & match for Clijsters, and the defending champion was out.

On Sunday, Williams was fined $10,000, and more punishment could follow from a broader investigation into what the head of the tournament called her "threatening manner."

I recommend that all Egyptians athletes in all sports, but especially soccer players, be strapped into (uncomfortable) seats, and forced to watch this match over and over and over (ala the Ludovico Technique used to reform Alex, the protagonist in Clockwork Orange). Hopefully this would teach those arrogant, bumptious, and mediocre players, some sportsmanship, modesty, and respect for officials.

+ + مسلم

كنت وصديقة لي نفضفض لبعض عن إحباط وخيبة أمل ثقيلة لحال وتصرفات الكثير من المسلمين، فإذا بها تقترح إستحداث علامة أو إشارة أو رمز نميز به المسلمين من أمثالنا، أي المسلمين الموحدين بالله، المؤمنين برسله وكتبه وملائكته واليوم الأخر وفي نفس الوقت يرون أولويات الإسلام بترتيب مختلف تمامآ عن عموم المسلمين.

وإقترحت صديقتي تسميتنا مسلمين بشرطة، أو مسلمين ولكن، أو حتى مسلمين ++!! وبالرغم من تفهمي الكامل لأسباب هذا الإقتراح، إلا إني لم أؤيده. إحنا مش ناقصين. كفاية المهازل اللي بين السنة والشيعة.

اليوم إفتكرت هذا الحوار، بالرغم من مرور سنين عليه. ربما كان السبب هو إزدياد غضبي مما يرتكب من جرائم بإسم الإسلام، وخصوصآ في رمضان (لا مش بتكلم عن المسلسلات).

ففكرت، ياترى لو حبيت أعرف المسلم الذي أفتخر به، ممكن أعرفة إزاي؟
Here is my top ten list ala David Letterman
خذ عندك:

متسامح دينيآ: أظن دي لا بدعة ولا إختراع، والدليل على كدة مصر في النصف الأول من القرن الماضي. والتسامح مش بس بين أتباع نفس المذهب على إختلاف أفكارهم، ولا مع أتباع المذاهب الأخرى من الإسلام، ولا حتى مع أتباع الأديان السماوية الأخرى، يعني إخواتنا من الأقباط والمسيحيين واليهود المحترمين من غير الصهاينة ، ولكن كمان مع أتباع الأديان الغير إبراهيمية. ولو حد مش عاجبه الكلام وحاول يشرحلي العيوب أوالمشاكل بالمذاهب أو الأديان الأخرى، فله عندي رد بسيط، وإنت مال أمك!! خليك في حالك.

متسامح لونيآ وعرقيأ: أظن إن إسلام أي منا سيكون ناقص لو لم نؤمن بأن "لا فضل لعربي على أعجمي ولا إبيض على إسود إلا بالتقوى". يعني نحترم أبناء الشعوب الأخرى جميعآ وبلاش قلة أدب وكلام زي إنت فاكرني هندي (كتبت بوست على الحكايه دي) وكمان اللي حيقول اي كلمة خيبانة لشيكابالا في الماتش اللي جاي (علشان أسمر اليشرة)، حأطلع عينه. لأ بجد، ليه كل يوم بنموت مهاجر أفريقي بقلب ميت وبدون إعتراض من أي مصري؟ صحيح هم بيحاولو يدخلوا إسرائيل بطرق غير شرعية، لكن دة من غلبهم، لو فيه بلد أفريقي واحد محترم يوفرلهم حياة أدمية ماكنش دة حصل. ويا ترى لو كان المتسلل ده أشقر بعيون جريئه لونهم أزرق، كان حامي حدودنا الهمام برضه طخه رصاصتين بمنتهي الشجاعة دي؟

له وجه واحد: لا أطيق أي حاجة بوشين!! حتى لو كانت القهوة التركي!!ء يعني ماينفعش إن أكثر شعوب العالم تدينآ (يعد إذنكم أروح أضحك وأرجع على طول.............رجعتلكم) كنت بقول إن مش معقول إن أكثر شعوب العالم تدينآ (أه يابطني ... مش قادرة من الضحك) يكون هو نفس الشعب اللي جوجل ترندز فضحه وكشف إن أكثركلمه يبحث عنها الشعب المصري هي وبلا فخر، كلمة سكس. وهو نفس الشعب اللي تخصص في الفرجة علي فديوهات روجتها جهات رسميه تصور علاقات حميمه بين رجال أعمال وزوجاتهم. ونعم التدين. ونعم الستر.

جميل: لا يمكن أصدق أن الله الجميل، المحب للجمال،يمكن أن يكون فرض الذقن المنتفة ولا الجلباب الشانيل اللي بيبين الكوارع المشعرة للرجال، ولاالخيمة السوداء كرداء للمرأة، ولا حتى الحجاب اللي يقول للبغبغان:"قوم وأنا أقعد مطرحك" !!

نظيف:أموت وأعرف، إزاي أتباع دين بيفرض وضوء خمس مرات في اليوم، وإغتسال كامل لأسباب متعددة، وبيقول النظافة من الإيمان، ومع كدة، صدفة بعطشي سرقت الفانلة. إزاي؟ معرفش!! (محبتش أقول ومع كدة، من أقذر شعوب الأرض علشان عيب). فمثلآ مثلآ إزاي يكون الوضوء في القرآن ينص على مسح للقدمين، وإحنا غلاسة نطورة لغسل للقدمين ووضع الأقدام في الأحواض (علشان الطرطشة تحلو) فنهدر المية النظيفة ونحول الحمام إلي حمام سباحة يكفر أي إنسان يدخله بعد الست سنية الي سايبة المية تخر تخر من الحنفية!! والنظافة الأكثر أهمية واللي بننساها تماما هي نظافة الأخلاق، يعني الأدب، الذوق، الحب، الرأفة، التعاون، الصدق، الأمانة، البر، .......... (أمتى أخر مرة حد فيكم سمع شيخ بيتكلم عن الحاجات دي؟؟؟)

بشوش: في دي، مش قادرة ألوم الأفراد على حالة التهجم والكأبة التي تنافس كأبة أمينة رزق في كل أفلامها، أو كأبة المسلمين الأوائل (مقارنة بفرفشة الكفار السعداء) في الأفلام المصرية القديمة المؤرخة لظهور الإسلام، لأني أعتقد إن الفضل في هذا التهجم و اليأس والكأبة هو وبكل فخر (أمال بيقولوا عليها زي قلتها لية؟) هي حكومتنا الموقرة. لكن برضه دة مايمنعش إننا على الأقل نحاول نبتسم في وش بعض بدل من النظرات القاسية اللي تفسيرها في أفضل الأحوال هو" ثكلتك أمك".ء

متقن لعملة: والله عيب إننا فرحانين بالإيزو اللي لسه مخترعينه أول إمبارح، وإحنا دينا فرض علينا إتقان العمل من 14 قرن لكن مع الأسف والألم، لا نتقن إلا الفساد، والرشوة، والإستهبال. أما كل حاجة تانية، فعلى رأي الشعراوي، خلي الكفرة يتعبوا، وإحنا نستفيد بإختراعتهم بدون تعب. تفتكر ياشيخ، النصيحة الخيبانة دي تنتج أمة يستطع نبينا الكريم أن يباهي بها الأمم الأخرى؟؟ بالطبع لأ. أنا شخصيا في الأخرة حأتباها بالسويد و النرويج وحتى الدنمارك وهعمل نفسي ماعرفكمش يا غجر!! ء

قارئ جيد: أشعر بصداع ومغص وتصلب بالشرايين كل ما اسمع مصري (أو عربي) يردد بفخر إن أول أيات القرأن الكريم أمرتنا بالقراءة. أمال ليه المصريين(والعرب) بينقسموا الي ثلاث أقسام . قسم لا يعرف القراءة أصلآ، ودة ذنبه في رقبة الحكومة وفي رقبة كل مصري يعرف القراءة (أيوة بما فيهم أنا)، وقسم يعرف القرا ء ولكن لا يقرأ (قد يكون بعضهم لإرتفاع ثمن الكتاب مقارنة بدخلهم) لكن فيهم من لايقراء لإنغماسة في الهيافة، ومجموعة أخيرة تقرأ أقل القليل، ولكن للإسف أغلبها كتب يقال إنها دينيه (والوصف الأدق هو جاهلية لأنها في أفضل الأحوال تركز علي أهيف الأمور الي لا تقدم لكن أكيد تأخر) أو كتب خزعبلات الأبراج اللي مجننة سوسو علشان نفسها تعرف لو صاحبها توتو حيتجوزها، ولا بيضحك عليها و ناوي يهاجر كندا علشان يتجوز الواد فوفو.ء

مخه مش على الزيرو: يعني كل مايسمع أو يقرأ حاجة يشغل مخه وينقدة نقد عملي حتى لو مصدر المعلومة هو أبوهريرة شخصيآ. في الحقيقة بعد ما أنا طبقت نقد موضوعي علي الجملة السابقة، سأعيد صياغتها وهقول: خصوصآ لو كان مصدر المعلومة هو أبوهريرة اللي جلدة الخليفة عمر علشان ماكانتش بتتبل في بقة فولة وخصوصا الفول المغشوش. (أغلب الأحاديث المهينة للمرآة - مثل حديث الكلب والحمار- مصدرها أبوهريرة اللي إشتهر برواية الأحاديث عن كعب الأحبار)ء

كرىم: طب مش لازم كريم خليه على الأقل مش بخيل، وعارف أن أي رزق في يدة فهو ملك لله وله ولعبادة الأقل حظآ نصيب فيه. ء

مسلسلات رمضان

لا أتابع سوى مسلسل ليلى مراد "أنا قلبي دليلي". وبالرغم من إنه لايخلو من التطويل أحيانآ، ولكني مستمتعة بالشخصيات والأحداث التاريخية اللي فيه، وبجو السماحة الدينية اللتي كانت تعيشها مصر في النصف الأول من القرن العشرين.

أكتر واحد عاجبني هو الممثل اللي قايم بدور عبدالوهاب. وجمبلة إم ليلي كانت مقنعة كمان. ليلى نفسها مش شبه الأصل أوي لكن ملية الدور. أما أحمد فلوكس في دور أنور وجدي، فلايق في الدور لكن مزود حركات الرقبة شوية زيادة. بيفكرني بالكلاب الي كانوا بيحطوها في ظهر العربيات زمان.ء

أما باقي المسلسلات الي عددها أكثر من سبعة وتسعين، فأقل القليل اللي شفته منها يخليني أؤيد وبشدة نظرية إبراهيم عيسى إن أمهات مؤلفين هذة المسلسلات قد تعرضوا أثناء الولادة لمضاعافات منعت الأوكسجين عن مخ إجنتهم لفترة (طويلة) من الوقت و النتيجة المأساويه لهذه الحالة الطبية هي مسلسلات رمضان!!

بس عندي سؤال محيرني. ليه كل المؤلفين إتفقوا إن أظرف و أهم موضوع لكل المسلسلات هي الأزواج اللي بيتجوزوا على مراتتهم؟؟

نكتة دي؟ بس إنا مش بضحك!!ء
فزورة؟ بس ولا مسلسل فيه نيللي أو شريهان!!ء
تثبيت للفكر الديني المتخلف ؟ بس الحكومة بتأفش في الأخوان!!ء
عرض لواقع مضمونه أن زوجة واحدة لا تكفي الرجل المصري؟ أمال مين اللي مخلص الفياجرا من السوق!!ء
تنفيس عن عقد مكبوتة و كره خفي للزوجة؟ طب ما يطلقوا مراراتهم، وكل واحد يروح لحاله أحسن بدل ما يخربوا بيوت المشاهدين!!ء

طب والحل؟؟

وجدتوها!! مطلوب من كل الزوجات إنهم يكتروا الدعاء في الأيام المفترجة دي. ممكن كل واحدة تقول اللي ربنا يقدرها عليه، بس لأفضل النتائج، أرجوا ترديد ورائي، وبصوت طالع من القلب و بحرقه المظلوم: " يارب، أحمنا من المسلسلات المصرية، أما المسلسلات التركية، فنحن كفيلات بها"ء

تيكر رمضان

من الأشياء اللي كرهتني في مشاهدة التلفزيون، طبعآ دة غير هيافة البرامج، وملل المسلسلات، وكأبة الأخبار، وثقل دم المذيعين، الخ الخ.........هي التيكر، او شريط الأخبار اللي العقل المصري طوره وجعله شريط معاكسات و إعلانات نصب.ء

من نماذج الإعلانات المزعجة:ء

إعلانات عن رنات لمسحراتي عمولة يصحي كل واحد بإسمه. طيب مافيش إعلان عن واحد يصوملهم بالمرة؟ ء

إعلانات عن تليفون للفتوي اللي أكيد برضه هيكون لفتاوي عمولة . دة بيأكد إن أحسن بزنس في مصر دلوقت هو الموبيل و الدين.ء

إعلانات عن تيلفون إنسان منافق بيقول عن نفسه إعلامي إسمة خط الفضفضة مستعد يقعد يكلمك في أي وقت. في الغالب إسم الخط نسبة إلى فضفضة جيوب المغفلين اللي حيكلموه .

إعلانات عن تيلفون لخبيرة الموضة والتجمبل علشان تقولك إزاي تلبسي البوصة تبقى عروسة. الغريب إن الخبيرة نفسها شبه أمنا الغولة!!

إعلانات عن تيلفون لخبيرة التخسيس اللي حتخليكي تخسي ثلاثين كيلو في إسبوع. والعجيب إن خبيرة التخسيس دي نفسها لسه طالعة من عملية شفط للدهون.

أما أخطر إعلان، فبيقول لو إنت حامل وعايزة نصائح عن الحمل والولادة إتصلي برقم كذا.ممكن يجيلي سبهللة لو فعلآ فيه حوامل ممكن يستشيروا ويخدوا نصايح من واحد ماعندهمش أي فكرةعن مؤهلاتة. ممكن يكون قائد طابية، أوحتى بياع بليلة، مش مهم. المهم إنه عنده موبيل و نمرة. والله عيب عليكم. بس كمان العيب في عدم وجود قانون يمنع الإسفاس دة. أو يمكن (كالعاده) القانون موجود لكن لايطبق.

والله أنا خايفة لو التهريج دة إستمر، إن السنه الجاية نلاقي إعلان بيقول: لو إنت مش حامل وعايزه تحملي، قابليني النهاردة الساعة 8 في شقتي، واحد شارع المقرننين.

يا مثبت العقل والدين يا رب.ء

Karima Skalli

I find it extremely telling about the current sorry state of the Arab artistic taste and popular culture, that Ms Hayfa2 Wahbi is a household name in every Arab country, while very few Arabs have ever heard of the extremely talented Moroccan singer, Ms Karima Skalli.

Recently, I was privileged to attend a concert by Ms Skalli , were I enjoyed two hours or so of great "tarab". Karima was really smart to launch the concert with Asmahan's beautiful song "3alih salat Allah w salamo". By doing so, she immediately captured the attention and admiration of the audience, despite my guess that most of them, including moi, had never heard her lovely voice before that memorable night. Karima then took us on a wonderful voyage of flawless melodies that spanned the Asmaham heritage, the Andalusian tradition, the Moroccan folklore, and finally an Um Kalthoum spiritual ballad. She was called for an encore, and sang a beautiful contemporary Moroccan song.

After the concert, I was invited to attend a dinner in her honor. Chatting with her made it clear that the charming beauty and angelic voice belonged to an amiable and extremely modest soul.

Visit Karima's website, and enjoy listening to clips of her songs by clicking here.

The Shock Doctrine

I have to admit that when it comes to finance or economics, I am simply as ignorant as can be. And every time I tried to change that fact, I just failed cause I could not understand anything of what the "experts" said or wrote. As a matter of fact, the harder I tried, the more confused I got. So, I just took it for granted that my brain was just not meant to understand money matters.

Well, I am glad to announce that this has recently changed. I finally discovered that I was not getting what the (so called) "experts" said simply because it did not make any sense, and not because I was (God forbid) stupid.

So when I read the following news bulletin:

Following their recent visit to Egypt, IMF staff issued this concluding statement:

"For the medium-term, reducing fiscal vulnerabilities is be a precondition for achieving Egypt’s growth potential. Sustained high fiscal deficits and public debt could undermine investors’ confidence and put upward pressure on the yield curve, with attendant risks to government financing costs, economic activity and the exchange rate. Government plans to resume medium-term fiscal consolidation as the global economy rebounds are well-placed. The authorities are aware that a credible fiscal consolidation strategy will be crucial to support investor confidence and foster private sector-led growth. This should be supported by policy actions to: strengthen revenues through introduction of a full-fledged VAT; and increase the efficiency and control of government spending with further rationalization of subsidies and decisive progress with financial management reforms. As plans for pension and health care reforms are finalized, it would be important to ensure that the potential fiscal impact is controlled."

instead of simply shrugging my shoulders and assuming that the IMF "experts" knew what they were talking about, I honestly panicked!!

Why? Because this recipe for "boosting" Egypt's economy is nothing but the same "Washington Consensus"; a term coined by John Williamson to describe a set of ten specific economic policy prescriptions that he considered should constitute the "standard" reform package promoted for crisis-wracked developing countries by Washington DC-based institutions such as the International Monetary Fund, World Bank and the US Treasury Department who mercilessly forced those polices on people of South Africa, and the Asian Tigers following the rumored crash of the nineties.

Those set of policies are in complete sync with the "Shock Therapy" policies pioneered by Milton Friedman and his "Chicago Boys" who applied those policies in Chile, Argentina, & China. The "Berkeley Mafia" did the same thing in Indonesia. And Jeffery Sachs applied more or less the same policies in Bolivia, Poland, and then in Russia.............. (well this is all I know for now).

The good news is that the "Disaster Capitalism" policies had extremely positive results to the multinational corporations, Wall Street, the richie-rich, and most of the time, the leaders of those countries. The bad news is that the same policies came at an extremely high cost to the majority of the people of those countries.

OK, I do apologize for showing off, but I couldn't resist it.

The reason I understand world economy & finance better now is that I am currently reading "The Shock Doctrine" by Naomi Klein. This book finally confirmed what I suspected all along. To find what that is, please read this book. I am sure that you will have as many "Oh My GOD!!" moments as I did.

If you are Egyptian, then you have to read this excellent book by Naomi Klein so you can formulate an educated opinion regarding Businessmen getting into bed with the government, the on-going privatization of Egypt public sector, the reductions in subsidies, and other so called "reform" policies.

Until you do, don't be surprised if I ignore you or even pretend that I don't know you. I refuse to talk to or socialize with people who are as ignorant as I was four days ago!!

The air I breath

On this day, 27 years ago to be exact, my life changed for ever. I had my first child. Cruel labor pains and the joy that followed were just a taste of what to come. A kind of love that hurts so bad but at the same time gives you so much happiness that you're not sure whether to cry or laugh out loud. The Arabs say “our kids are our kidneys walking on the ground”. I say “my kids are the air I breath”.

God, You deserve my thanks for all the blessings and grace you shower us with. And I do thank you for them all but above all I thank you for the air I breath. Please God bless them with loving You, your prophet Mohammad, and their fellow humans of all color, race, religion. Bless them with happiness, a healthy long life, success, wealth, a loving spouse, and great kids.

One more thing, please don't test my belief or strength through my kids. I admit, I am weak. Having them away from me for most of the year is hard enough. Please be their protector and savior wherever they go. And one more thing, please never deprive me of the air I breath.

Fayza

In line with what I wrote in the previous post, one of the few graduates of the year 2009 is my dear Fayza. Fayza became a member of my family over forty years ago when she came with her mom who did various domestic work at my parent’s place. The unconditional love of this woman to my parents, my sister & I, our husbands & kids is phenomenal. But this is not why I believe Fayza is a far better human than I.

When I go back to Alex, my hubby, kids & I stay at my mom’s place. Needless to say, the amount of housework needed for this army of guests is backbreaking. Knowing that at least four out of the seven occupants of the house (I will not name names) are OCD patients obsessed with cleanliness gives you a vague idea about the about of work needed to keep everyone happy.

Moreover, the family trusts no one else to go clean my sister’s place at the North Coast (el sa7el el shamali), and this year, I too asked her to clean an apartment that we had but did not use for years, to have it ready for some guests who were spending a couple of weeks in Alex.

To top it all, her daughter’s wedding coincided with all this. Yet she refused to take more than two days off to take care of that.

Now some people might argue that all this could be explained by the kind treatment & generous pay she gets from the family. But here is what makes her a better human than many people I know including myself.

I walked quietly into the kitchen, of course to find something to nimble on until lunch was ready, and I found Fayza in the corner, praying, thanking God (a few “Ass Holes” such as myself might think “for what??”), and even praying for a long and happy life for each one in our family.

I love that woman. And I have no doubt that she will be rewarded for accepting & making the best out of the tough hand she was dealt in this life. And above all, for not having a grain of envy or hatred in her heart. Fayza has passed her exam in life.

I am not that sure that I’ve passed mine.

Back to school

Let’s imagine what would happen if we all went through the existing education system, yes that same one that we all hated, but this time around, we will apply two modifications to it. First, no exams are required to move from one grade to the next. Passing or failing will be left to the judgment of each student. The only exception is at the final graduation. And second, your graduation could come at any random date!!

I have no doubt that most students would gladly agree to switch to this new system. It seems extremely fair and self assuring to be able to evaluate oneself in stead of being evaluated by others who might be unfair, prejudice, or apathetic. At first glance, this looks like a great system with great potential. This relaxed environment will definitely bring out the best in each of us.

Unfortunately, this system will now work. It will fail because of the two character traits that are deeply founded in all of us, Vanity & Selfishness. Most of us will simply believe that we do deserve to constantly move to a higher grade, even when all the signs suggest that we don’t. And when we see fellow students miserably fail their graduation exam because they never prepared for it, we would confidently say, “this will never happen to me!” Moreover, when we see others who need a little help in order to advance, most of us will just turn our backs to them, if not even climb on their shoulders to reach higher.

In other words, the system will miserably fail, not because it is a bad system, but because the students misunderstood the true meaning of an education.

Well, the good news is, I have no authority to apply this system to the education system in Egypt or anywhere else. The bad news is, I believe that we are living this system. We live in this world with one goal in life, to be better than the others. And we actually convince ourselves that we are. I am better looking because I fit the beauty standards. I am better than the followers of other religions because I am a Muslim. I am a better Muslim because I have a prayer mark on my forehead. I am a better Muslim because I am veiled. I am better at my job because I was promoted. I am smarter because I had higher grades. I am better because my ancestors built the pyramids. I am better because I am the boss. I am better because I am a man. I am better because I have a foreign passport. I am better because I make more money..…………

Some of the above may be true when comparing people. But none is true comparing humans. To be a better human one has to believe that: “I can only be a better human when I love my fellow humans as much as I love myself.”

Spaghetti Sandwich

I went on a touristic tour of old Cairo with my hubby & kids and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Old Cairo is much more beautiful than I ever expected it to be. I’ve seen parts of old Cairo before, but this visit was different. The trip felt like going on a ride in an open air museum, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I wish we had enough time to visit each and every one of the mosques we saw since each one had a distinct character and was beautiful in a very unique way. The mosques we actually visited were El Sultan Hassan aka the Obama mosque, al Hussain, and Amr ibn el 3as mosques. The latter left a lasting impression on me, not because it was the most beautiful, nor because it was the one where I had an exceptional spiritual experience, it actually touched me for a different reason.

While hubby & the two boys were inside praying, I was outside admiring the facade of the mosque, and trying to figure where the Hanging Church, and Ben Azer’s temple - that along with the mosque form the Multi-Religious Compound - were. Ms. Paparazzi (aka Noona) went around the mosque taking pictures of anything and everything. I noticed that next to the mosque was a Zakkah committee, specialized in supporting orphans, and a large number of women, old & young, were waiting in line to get to a window to receive what I assume must be a monthly allowance for the orphans they support. To me, this small building was as beautiful as all the mosques we saw. I was more than glad to see that in spite of my belief that the dominant flavor of Islam in Egypt now-a-days is a superficial one that exaggerates the importance of appearances and minimizes the role of the Muslim in bettering the society, yet a good number of well to do Muslims must be regularly paying their due Zakkah in order to sustain such a project and many like it around the country.

As I was admiring the beauty of Zakkah at work, Nouna returned followed by three young girls. Mai, Heba, & Habiba. She had asked if she could take pictures of them, and they gladly agreed, and then followed her to where I was waiting. We talked and Noona gave them some candy that Habiba said she will eat after she finishes the sandwich she had in her hand. This made me glance at her sandwich and what I saw lifted the thick veil of apathy that covered my eyes. Habiba was eating a spaghetti sandwich. Only then, her shabby and worn out clothes, and her bare feet completed the picture of poverty & deprivation that my mind was programmed to ignore. I know this might sound stupid since there are many more visible & tragic signs of poverty that we see every day, but the vivid image of Habiba eating her all carbs sandwich is still tormenting me. Stuffing my face at Chilli’s and paying over L.E. 500 for one meal for a family of five less than an hour earlier has definitely added to my guilt.

Most probably I will never see Habiba again, which means I will never be able to influence her life in any meaningful way. Yet she generously gave me a gift that I will cherish forever. Hopefully her image will continue to remind me to appreciate what I have, and to remember my duties, and pay my dues towards the less fortunate fellow Egyptians.

I am blessed with a new son

Good guess but no, I did not just give birth to a baby boy (didn't know you believed in miracles).

Give up? Well it's simple, my Noona got engaged to Kole.

3o2bal 3andokom.

p.s. Boys, looking forward to meeting my two new daughters.

The second Palestine Festival of Literature

From 23-28 May 2009 across the Palestinian territories 17 internationally acclaimed authors, editors and publishing heavyweights will travel daily from checkpoint to checkpoint - from Jerusalem to Ramallah to Jenin to Birzeit to Bethlehem to al-Khalil/Hebron - to bring the Palestine Festival of Literature to the people of Palestine.

Click here to visit the PALFEST site.

Cardiac Ward - Room 232

Needless to say, it was a huge relief when my hubby was moved from the ICU to a regular room in the cardiac ward since it is a sign that he is out of danger. But I was unhappy when I discovered that he will be sharing a room with another patient. My OCD took over, and I was very uncomfortable since he will also have to share the bathroom with his roommate. Hubby, who manages to stay in a good mood even when stressed, did not mind it at all. He actually prefers being in a double room since he loves having company.

His roommate turned out to be a very old chap, who had just undergone a heart catheter procedure. Despite the fact that by the time I left around 9pm, his roommate was still sedated, and barely moved or spoke, I had no doubt what so ever, that something interesting will happen overnight (the adventure of the ICU was still fresh in my mind), and could not wait to see hubby the next morning to hear all about it.

As expected, at around 2am, hubby woke up by the weak voice of his roommate calling the nurse. Since he knew that no one outside the room will be able to hear him, hubby told his roomie to press the red button next to him to call the nurse. When the poor - half sedated half deaf - guy did not respond, hubby pressed the button on his bed. A Filipina nurse, who looked kind and helpful came to the room.

In broken Arabic she asked roomie: "Aish fi baba??"
Baba :"fi dem!! fi wayed dem!!"
Nurse: " Ma fi mafhoum baba. Aish fi?? Fi alam?"
Baba :"fi dem!! fi waged dem!!"
Hubby:"I think his hearing is weak, so you better raise your voice."
Nurse: " MA FI MAFHOUM BABA. AISH FI?? FI ALAM??"
Baba: "Ma fi alam. Agoulek fi dem. Wayed dem fi sareer!! "
Hubby: "Dem means blood. He is trying to tell you that there is blood in his bed. "
The alarmed nurse, turned on the light and rushed back to the bed. When she could not see any blood in the bed, she relaxed, and with a big smile on her pretty face said: "INTA MA FI 3ANDAK DEM BABA. AISH FI MOUSHKILA?"
Baba : "Aish tegouli inti!! Ana ma 3andi dem?????"
Nurse:" AYWA BABA. WALAHI INTA MA 3ANDAK DEM BABA!!"
Hubby who was extremely enjoying this encounter, but did not want things to escalate much further said: "Yabouya hiya b te2oulak ino mafeesh dem fi el sereer."
Baba deciding to use the little English he knows: "Kaif ma fi dem? fi wayed WATER fi el sareer."
Nurse:"MOOMKEN INTA I3MEL BOAL W INTA NAYEM BABA!!"
Baba: "Aish tegouli inti? Ana reyal shaiba fi 3omr abouki. Ana abgha waladi ..."
Hubby sensing that this enjoyable lost in translation transaction can turn ugly told Baba:"Yabouya hedi nafsak. Heya mish fahma 3alaik."
And he quickly turned to the nurse saying:"I think you'd better get an Arabic-speaking nurse, and preferably a male nurse, to come take care of this patient, cause he is getting angry and agitated by this miscommunication."
Nurse:"Good idea doctor. MA FI ZA3AL BABA. FI HINA NURSE BA3D WA7ED DAGEEGA."

Unfortunately, the Arab male nurse was able to peacefully sort things out with Baba, so there are no more interesting dialogues to report. Fortunately for the nurse, by the time his son came to see him the following morning, Baba had forgotten the "MA FI 3ANDAK DEM" encounter.

See you in room 233.

p.s. Dedicated to Noran, who seems to enjoy the "Only with Nahoul & Family!!" weird posts.

Room 224

After his first cardioversion in the ER, my husband was admitted to the ICU for observation. All ten rooms in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit are single-patient rooms, and are equipped, with medical devices of every shape, size, and color. Observing nurses and doctors working in the other rooms, I never saw any of them use anything other than a stethoscope, thermometer, blood pressure and pulse monitor, and the IV drip.

Behind each bed are three outlets. The first outlet is green, and is definitely for Oxygen since the nurses have repeatedly connected it to a mask and placed it over my husband's face to help him breath easier. I heard rumors that pure oxygen has an age reversing effect, so when the nurses leave the room, I always ask hubby to lend me the oxygen mask for a while. But he never does.

The other two outlets, are blue and orange, and I never ever saw them used. So to avoid spending my time by my husband's bed, while he was resting or sleeping, worrying, and thus increasing my anxiety and gloomy mood, I decided to spend the time in trying to figure out what those two outlets are for. I finally came up with a couple of reasonable theories.

I believe the blue outlet is for laughing gas, which is known to have anesthetic and analgesic effects that must be useful in the ICU. Had I been in charge of the ICU, I would use it on all patients, even if they didn't need any sedation, so they can benefit from the healing effect of laughing. I would even recommend using it on the visiting family members, doctors, nurses, and janitors, just to improve the mood of everyone in the ICU.

As for the orange outlet, I think it is for mustard gas (thus the color). I know that mustard gas is a lethal poisonous gas that is supposed to be banned as a chemical weapon, but may be Dr. Kevorkian was consulted, and recommended adding this outlet just in case. Thank goodness, I've never seen this outlet used in any room.

Being in a single room and especially in the ICU where all the patients are tied to 37 tubes and wires, I never expected that my husband will have interesting stories to tell me when I went to visit him the next morning, but of course he did.

Patients in the ICU never get any continues sleep since nurses come in every couple of hours to check their vital signs, and between those visits, janitors come in to empty the trash baskets, clean the bathrooms, or sweep the floors. So when my husband heard someone in his room at midnight, he was not startled and slowly opened his eyes.

He was not prepared for what he saw. A guy in his late twenties, wearing a thoab that was raised to his waist was walking towards his bed. He stood still when he heard my husband, who by now was surprised, alarmed, and scared, ask: "Who are you??? And what are you doing here??"
Stranger: "Don't worry. Go back to sleep. I am here visiting my father."
Hubby: "But it is way past visiting hours and you should not be in the ICU at this time!!"
Stranger: "Well my father was just admitted a short while ago in the room next to yours, and I will be leaving soon any ways."
Hubby: "But what are you doing in MY room??"
Stranger: "Well, I just need to use your toilet. I will be out in a minute."
Hubby: "Wait here! Where do you think you're going? Why don't you use the visitors toilets outside or the toilet in your dad's room."
Stranger: "I am not sure where the visitors toilets are, and my brother is in my dad's toilet."
Hubby: "So? How long does your brother take to pee? I am sure if you go back to your dad's room now he will be done. So please leave my room immediately, otherwise I will call the nurses and have them deal with you."
Stranger: "OK, OK I'm leaving."
And as he was leaving the room he added: "I don't understand why make such a big fuss I was not stealing anything from your room you know. Actually, was going to add to it!! Ha Ha!!"

See you in room 232.

CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP!!

Looks could be deceiving. My acquaintances might believe (at least I think they do) that I am opinionated, independent, stubborn, obsessive, and tough. BUT, people who REALLY know me, realize that I am actually opinionated, independent, stubborn, obsessive, but not as tough as I look.

Deep down inside, I am a hopeless softy. I am actually very sensitive (حساسة) , despite the impression given by my posts that I am shenshitive (حشاشة) - sorry but this extremely old joke will only be appreciated (I hope) by Arabic speakers.

These past six weeks or so, have really been nerve wrecking. My husband has been to the Emergency Room and in the Intensive Care Unit as frequent as I wash my hands each day, my hubby & I fight each week, or even my mom calls - long distance - as soon as she suspects that one of us is not well. In other words A LOT!!

Although I am not a big fan of medical shows - cause I faint at the sight of blood - I did not mind , even enjoyed, watching patients being zapped with an electric shock to bring them back to life. I though it was cool hearing the doctor go: "CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP", and then seeing the lifeless electrocuted patient hitting the ceiling of the OR and then falling back into his bed alive.

In real life, and when I received a call at work from an ER nurse telling me not to panic but to come immediately to the ER to sign a consent giving the doctors permission to Cardiovert my husband, I immediately panicked, although I had no idea what the heck she was talking about. During my 10 minutes run from my office to the ER, the tough Nahoul disappeared, and the fragile person inside me, that one I usually manage to hide, took over.

Although my husband has been admitted to the ER several times in the past years, but seeing him there with wires connected to his arms, legs, and body, and the alarms on the monitor flashing and beeping like crazy immediately pushed the hand of the panic sensor in my head to the extreme panic zone. Before I could talk to him, the cardiologist walked in the cubical, told me that he could not wait for me so he already got the consent from my husband, (not sure how cause he was in no condition to sign his name, even if he was told that the consent was actually his marriage contract to Haifaa Wahbi) and asked me to wait behind the curtains cause he was going to do Cardioversion, which is administering an electric shock to his heart, because it was beating at the Speedy Gonzales rate of over 150 beats per minute, which is dangerous to his life!!!

I have no idea what sort of an expression was on my face at that particular moment, but it must have not been a smart one cause without me asking him to elaborate he added that it was like when a computer freezes because it is busy looping in an endless process, sometimes the only solution is to turn it off, then turn it back on again. He added that the shock will stop the heart, and when the heart automatically restarts, hopefully it will start beating at a normal heart rate. This I could understand. My only worry was the heart not responding to the treatment and its rate not going back to normal which is extremely dangerous to my husband,'s life considering his heart condition.

I am grateful that at the time (not sure due to the shock I was in, because of my strong faith in God, or because I am actually not that smart) I never contemplated the fact that there must be a small chance that (God forbid) the heart would not restart, thus the consent. Needless to say, hearing the doctor say "CHARGE. ALL CLEAR. ZAP", then hearing him add: "Normal sinus rhythm" after the first try was music to my ears. Thank God. I am truly grateful. Hubby was monitored in the ICU for a couple of days, and then released to go rest at home. I tried to be strong and supportive to him, but instead I was extremely anxious and must have added to his worries. Tough Nahoul my foot!!!

Not to be any less dramatic than ER or Gray's Anatomy, two weeks later, and after going back to work, he was admitted again to the ICU with the same problem and some additional complcations. After two more weeks of scare, frustration, panic, and contradicting doctors' opinions, he had to go through another Cardioversion (again I was standing steps away and could hear everything going on). This one too was successful, al hamd l Allah, and he is back to normal sinus rhythm.

I am happy to report, especially to my kids, that my husband is currently stable and that he is resting at home. He must have been really scared this time cause for the first time in his life he is actually taking it easy, and is following doctors' orders (touch wood, rock, & fiber glass).

As you must have guessed, he did have numerous adventures with fellow patients during his multiple stays, but I will tell you all about those adventures in another post.

p.s. To all those who provided their support and good wishes in the past difficult weeks, we both thank you from the bottom of our hearts.