Saturday, December 15, 2007

Takhareef - Part 1

Hello fellow humans. Thank you for coming from near and far to attend my fantasy. Before we start, and as you must have noticed, more people showed up than expected. Many of you are standing in the aisles, and I am reminded that this violates the safety regulations of the building.

So regretfully, many of you will have to leave.
(loud protest) Quiet please, quiet.
(louder protest) OK, please just calm down and listen.
(louder and angrier protest) SHUT UP!! Thank you.
So, what was I saying? oh ya, I will now ask you some questions and your own beliefs will determine whether you will stay or be escorted out of the hall to be sent to suitable destinations.
(new wave of protest) LISTEN, it's my fantasy, so I can say and do whatever I want.
(Peace and quiet at least) That's better, let's begin.

I ask those of you who believe in the law of the jungle, that is the right of the strong to crush and devour the weak and young, I ask you to leave the room. (some animals name calling) Back at you!! You will be escorted to different Zoos around the World. I understand that you will be placed in cages with Lions or Tigers, so that the strongest would enjoy a hearty meal. If you watched The Gladiator, you will know what to expect. So enjoy the fight.

Next, I would like those who believe that "the whiter, the wiser", yes the damn racists, I would like them to leave the hall immediately. You will be escorted to Antarctica. Your life will be forever controlled by a giant SnowMan. You will never find a whiter, thus wiser leader, don't you think? Shut up and move you ..... (Oh my, he did not look that big when he was sitting down) Guards HELP!! Thank you.

I now ask another group of bigots, the male chauvinists, to leave to the Isle of Man. No, not the one with all the banks, but one that actually has no women. No female species what so ever. That should teach you. (singing) "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got, till it's gone" (protest by the remaining crowd) I'd like to remind you that this is my fan... Ok I'm sorry, come back, I promise not to sing for the rest of this meeting. (losers) Next ....what? There are women in this group? (Didn't see that one coming) Then hold them outside until I think of a suitable destination for them.

Now, those who control and misguide, promote hate & violence, wage wars, confiscate land, water, & homes, deny the freedom of thought & speech, torture & kill,... in short those who commit all sorts of crimes, in the name of religion, please do leave immediately through this red hot chili, I mean red hot door. What a stupid question, to HELL of course. What, you don't want to share Hell with followers of other religions? Sorry guys you have no choice, and as I said earlier, in this fantasy, what I say goes. But you know what, I am sure that when you get to know each other, you'll find that you have a lot in common. I bet you will even become best friends in no time. Please shut that door behind them quickly, the heat is unbearable. Thank you.

Next, all those who worship money, please leave through the windows (you will understand why in a second). Windows will lead you to a virtual location were you will be forced to look at computer screens showing a second by second account of the growth of Mr Gates' fortune. The bad news is, none of you will ever make that much money. The good news is, the computers are all running windows, so sooner rather than later, they will all crash. When this happens, they will be replaced by Macs and then you will be forced to watch Mr Jobs' fortune growing. That's when the Microsoft CEO & executives will join you for their share of torture.

Now all those who are simply evil, wicked, mean, corrupt, cruel, not to forget the tyrants, despots, perverts, molesters,..........and so on, please leave the room. Also those who were supposed to leave with one of the earlier groups but did not because they are liars or cowards, you are required to leave with this group. There is no point in denying. You are easily spotted by those capital Ls and Cs stuck on your forehead. Guards please take away all those who touched their faces. Where? You can pick any destination you want, but you will have to live together till the end of time.

Oh, I still see a few people standing in the back. This could mean that there are more good people in this hall than expected, or that I have missed a group that deserves to be expelled. We'll see

Let's continue.
(loud stomach growls) I hear you friends, I'm getting hungry too.
Let's adjourn for lunch, and I'll see you back here in a future fantasy.

1 comment:

Patrick said...

Who else is left? It reminds me of the poem "God's in his Heaven,
All's well with the world". The only problem is that All's NOT well with the world!!!!!!