Thursday, February 7, 2008

A Night at the Movies

I used to be a movie junkie, but after being disappointed too many times, I lost interest and would only go to the movie theater once or twice a year as a hostage. My kidnapper is usually my husband who LOVES going to the theater regardless of what is showing. Until recently, I could not understand his addiction to wasting his money and time on REAL BAD movies.

Thanks to my son's account of his night at the movies with his dad, I finally got it. My husband does not go to watch the movie at all!!! He goes to the theater to watch other movie goers!!!!

Here are a couple of scenes from the Egyptian reality movie that my husband paid 25 L.E. to enjoy:
Scene 1: Interior - Movie Theater in Egypt- Mid night.

A crowded movie theater with way too many kids running around. Trailers of "Coming Soon" movies are being shown.
Kid#1: KHAAALAAAAWEEEES? (ready?)
Different kids from different locations in the theater: LESSAA (not yet)
Two other kids went up the stage and started copying whatever was showing on the screen.
Stage Kid#1:"Mama, look at me. I am driving a car"
Stage Kid#2:"No ya Tamer, I am driving. You're dead already!!!"

Mo: "Is this going to continue even when the movies starts?"
Hubby, enjoying the entertainment, but pretending that he is not: "We'll soon find out."
The movie starts.
Kid#2: KHAAALAAAAWEEEES? (ready?)
Different kids from different locations in the theater: LESSAA (not yet)
Kid#2: Lessa walla ma lessa, ana gai!! (ready or not, here I come)
The two kids on stage are still continuing with their own low budget movie production.
Mo: "I cannot follow the dialog in this noise"
Hubby: "I will explain the whole movie to you later"
The voice of Hifaa Wahbi singing "Fain el wawa" rises loud and clear from the cell phone of the guy sitting in the row in front of them.
Mo laughing: "No way!! I'm actually starting to enjoy this"
Wawa guy: "Yes ya 7amo!! I'm at the movies. No, no need to hang up. The movie is very funny. I will hold my cell phone up so you can hear the jokes. Ha ha ha. Did you hear that?? No, he was saying....."
Mo: "Is this normal dad??"
Hubby: "Shhhhhhhhh. Just listen"
Mo:"All this racket, and you're hushing me???? That's the funniest thing I heard since the movie started"
A guy sitting next to Mo finally looses his temper.
Angry guy screaming: "Is this a movie theater or a Zoo? I paid 100 pounds to watch the movie and not to watch your damn kids play hide and seek and jump in front of the screen like monkeys. Parents of all those ill mannered kids should get up immediately and carry their kids back to their seats or else I will go outside and ask security to throw them all out.
Suddenly, about eight dads and moms (including his own wife) got up and escorted their kids back to their seats.
Mo falling off his chair and laughing out loud:''This is hilarious. I'm loving it!! Now I know why you come to the theater as often as you do dad."
Hubby:"This will be our little secret. Don't tell your mom."

Scene 2: ...............................

Are you enjoying this? Well, if you are, and you wanna watch scene 2, get dressed and go the nearest movie theater. Movie playing is not important. Just make sure it is a late show, and that there are lots of hyper kids around.

3amar ya Masr.

2 comments:

patrick said...

Thank you for a most entertaining piece of writing. I cannot stop laughing just imagining the lot of you, but especially you, in this situation. When I finish with my comment, I'll go back and read it again to get another fit of the laughs. I wish I could be infected with Mansour's attitude when faced with behavior unbecoming of so-called civilized society.

nahoul said...

I am glad you enjoyed this piece ya Patrick, but I am kinda disappointed. You should have guessed that I was not with hubby & Mo at the movies that night. Had I been there, scene two would have been at the karakoon!!!!